Hits and Misses

 Hits   

     The author gives Simon characteristics of the beast, which gives information of how the other group of boys saw Simon at the time.  The narrator uses words to describe the sound of the boys as “screaming into the darkness” (153). Following the event when Simon and the Lord of the Flies held the conversation, he explained to Simon that something bad was going to happen if he attempted to tell the group the truth about the beast. 
This piece of writing from my LOTF paper is a hit because it explains how the group saw Simon as a monster when the "Lord of the Flies" told him something was going to happen to him. The piece of writing also has good context and explains what I noticed about the event that has taken place.

     It created hate, which was not used in the beginning of the story, and brought war to the civilization. As they get rescued, the mood changed to sadness about their independence being taken away from them in a split second. The boys also just finished their war of survival and must go to war to survive in the real world at the time.
I picked this piece of writing because I started to talk about my comments about what I noticed throughout the book. The piece of writing also shows the real purpose of this writing and ends with a great conclusion.
Protest and Police Brutality was a challenge for Mandela and his group, the ANC. The group went through numerous beatings because of their protests and supporting the anti-apartheid movement before his imprisonment .Mandela stated that,” the toll of the dead and injured already surpasses that of all past massacres carried out by this regime”
 This piece of writing included a great quote from Nelson Mandela that supported my claim about protest and police brutality. 



Misses 

The Sharpe-ville protest included the killings of 72 men, women, and children (“International”). In June of 1976, a group of schoolchildren were protesting, which resulted in the many deaths. Mary Benson stated one of the children was named,” Hector Pieterson, aged thirteen” (qtd.in Benson). This massacre sparked more racial tension and protested in South Africa

This piece of writing was a miss because I cited a quotation that I could have typed regularly. I also didn't add a lot of context to this piece of writing too. 

Another description of the twisty thing could be snakes. The beast appears again in the air Sam, and Eric discovers a figure as they woke up for the night. The figure’s action affected Sam and Eric, who show even more feelings of terror when they saw a dead body. As they told Ralph, the group became more petrified of the beast. The littluns also became more curious of the beast, causing a sense of fear throughout the group including Ralph. The voice of the narrator gives us the spooky mood on the island that sets the scene for the littluns.            

The paragraph didn't contain any quotations and was telling a summary of what people already know. The paragraph was too short and didn't contain context and was not well analyzed.


The flight was set for March 2016 on spring break with my Pops.They had movies that I liked such as the “Sixth Sense” and “Creed”, and they also had my favorite show “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”.

These statement doesn't match the purpose of my Personal Narrative. The irrelevant statements also didn't match the feelings I had o the trip and how fun it was.